Chinese Puppet Doll
“The baby! It’s coming!” the old midwife cried.
Gasping and panting, limp black strands of hair clung to the mother’s pale forehead. Face contorted in severe pain, her teeth clenched together to hold back a scream. Her husband listened worriedly outside through the door as she struggled.
In the dim light of several flickering candles, all was silent except for the soft moaning of the exhausted lady.
The door was flung open.
“It’s a girl, sir,” the midwife declared, turning to face the tall bearded figure.
A ghost of disappointment flitted across his face but he quickly controlled his expression. Nodding his head slowly, he smiled and replied, “Very well then, a girl it shall be.”
He turned and gestured towards his wife. “Take good care of her,” he commanded; eyes on the mid-wife.
She bowed her head. ”As you wish sir.”
As he turned to leave, a weak voice called out from the bed.
“Wait.”
He turned. The couple’s eyes met.
“What should we call her?”
His eyes turned thoughtful and faraway.
“Li Lan Yi,” he said, at last. “For the lan* flowers that bloom when winter becomes spring.”
The baby gurgled in her mother’s arms, eyes wide as if in agreement.
After he left the room, the mother clutched her baby closer to her chest and sighed. A gleam of triumph echoed from her eyes but her lips betrayed her, trembling, unsure. She knew that her husband had wanted a son.
*** *** ***
“Father! Read me a book please!” Lan Yi pleaded, her eyes looking at her father imploringly.
“All right my dear, wait for me while I go and get a book from the book room.” her father agreed.
Lan Yi nodded furiously and watched her father go.
After a while, she hopped off the stool and trotted behind.
She tiptoed in after him and ran off to explore the hundreds of books all stacked neatly on shelves.
Her father turned around and looked down at his precious daughter.
“Lan Yi! What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay and wait for me.” he scolded gently.
Giggling, Lan Yi told her father about how she had cleverly hidden from her maid and ran off after him.
Her father chuckled and shook his head.
“Oh Lan Yi, what a naughty little one you are.” he exclaimed with a smile.
Lan Yi’s love of books followed her in her childhood and she also delighted her father with her skilful playing of the gu-zheng (Chinese plucked zither) and everyone adored her bright nature and clever wit.
But as Lan Yi grew older, her father began to worry about her lady’s education. He was especially horrified when she once asked if she could go to school. Didn’t she understand that only men were to learn these things? He began to restrict her access to literature and instead focused on weaving and embroidery classes, etiquette and buying her the appropriate clothes and jewellery. It was time that his daughter grew up.
*** *** ***
I am 16 years old.
Old enough to marry
Or so my father says.
I’ve never really thought about the idea of marriage much. And the idea of love too. It’s such a trivial thing, something the rich ladies think up of to pass their time. What I do hate about marriage is that, I don’t even get to find out who my husband is until the actual day of the marriage. And even then, I have no choice. The marriages are always prearranged by our parents. It’s all about the parentage, the background, the money. Making a bargain as if we were just sheep to be sold.
There was one time when I went up to my mother and asked her what she thought of marriage and the unfairness of it. She just smiled wearily and told me that “Your father is a good husband, Lan Yi,” and then simply went on with her sewing. I couldn’t get anything more out of her. So obedient. The perfect lady. Yet…
I don’t want to be like her.
*** *** ***
“Mother, is it alright if I go to embroidery classes?”
Lan Yi’s mother looked up from her book.
Lan Yi smiled sweetly at her mother through her thick lashes.
“I’ve heard that Chang Lao shi is teaching Yuo Si embroidery and I really want to learn with her.”
“Well, I certainly do think that a young lady like you should be showing interest in the role of a wife.”
Her mother tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and bent down, continuing to read.
“So Mother,”
“Yes, Lan Yi?”
“Does that mean I can go then?”
“Of course,”
Lan Yi smiled gleefully to herself and nodding respectfully to her mother, she backed away, closing the doors.
Why do I have to lie to my mother just so I can get a proper education? Lan Yi asked herself angrily as she walked along the bustling street. She hated lying but this time it really was necessary.
The harsh metallic trilling of bicycle bells rang from peddlers with cracked crates that bulged with goods swaying precariously as they zoomed around corners, leafy bits of vegetables flying out onto the road. Side stalls steaming with the enticing aroma of mantou, (a type of pearly white sweet bun) enveloped her as she made her way down the riverside with her faithful maid, Xiao Hong at her side.
A girl stepped out from the shadows and greeted Lan Yi.
“Yuo Si! Is everything ready?” Lan Yi, asked, embracing her childhood best friend.
Yuo Si nodded. “Are you sure about this?” she asked anxiously.
Lan Yi nodded, determined. “Lead the way.”
They walked along the street, chatting about their family. They had been friends since they were toddlers and their fathers were business partners so the two families were very close.
As they turned up onto a steep winding road leading up towards the mountains, they paused to admire the scenery. At last, they stopped and Yuo Si pointed towards a little smudge in the distance.
“That’s the academy.” she said.
She led her through the well-worn path to her house, where the guards let them in with a smile.
Inside Yuo Si’s bedroom, Yuo Si took out some neatly folded clothes and handed them to Lan Yi.
She nodded her thanks, too nervous to speak and went behind the screen to change.
Lan Yi reached up to pull out her ebony ji headpiece, letting her silky black hair cascade down to her shoulders.
Her heart pounded as she changed hurriedly from her ruqun into the men’s zhiduo – casual clothing that consisted of a straight lapelled long robe and underneath, the zhongyi; the inner garment of pants and blouse.
She hesitated, her hands lingering over the left side of her waist then nodded to herself. Right, it’s the right side now. I am a man. The sash has to be fastened to the right side.
After managing to put on the rest of the clothes with no trouble, she turned her attention to her hair.
Twisting her hair up into a topknot, the way that she had watched her father do it Lan Yi slipped on her black cap-the putou. Now she was in the perfect uniform of the scholars.
Now I really look like a man.
Hesitantly she stepped out from behind the screen.
Yuo Si and Xiao Hong both gasped in surprise and burst out giggling.
“Such a handsome man!” Yuo Si teased through fits of laughter.
“I wouldn’t be able to tell that you’re a girl!” Xiao Hong agreed, tittering.
“Really?” Lan Yi asked incredulously, admiring her new figure in the bronze mirror on the wall.
“Shh, come on or everyone will hear you!” Xiao Hong warned after controlling herself.
“You’re right.” Yuo Si said, nodding in agreement. “Let’s go.”
Looking around to make sure the coast was clear, Yuo Si gestured for her to come forward.
Lan Yi dashed towards her and out the back door.
“Just follow the trail and you’ll get there.” Yuo Si instructed.
Lan Yi nodded. “Thank you so much Yuo Si! And you too Xiao Hong!”
Xiao Hong was to pretend to be Lan Yi and have the embroidery classes with Yuo Si. That way, no-one would notice that she was missing and Xiao Hong would even have the chance to learn. Even so, Lan Yi knew how much risk she was putting them both in and she felt a deep sense of gratitude that they would be so loyal to her.
“Good luck!” Yuo Si called after her as Lan Yi disappeared into the trees.
*** *** ***
She paused; or rather ‘he’ paused, looking up at the magnificent framed entrance of the academy. “White Deer Grotto Academy” it spelled in bold black characters, standing proudly and wisely looking over at its students flowing pass through its door.
This academy was one of the four most prestigious academies in China and her heart beat rapidly at the thought that she, a lowly woman, was going to learn the secrets of this place. In a shuyuan-academy, scholars were invited to give lectures and students were provided with dormitories, desks and food while basically studying on their own. Subsequently, most of these institutes became places where students prepared for exams.
Taking a deep breath, Lan Yi shrugged her robe into place and proceeded into the heart of the college.
A voice rang out from somewhere beyond the stone wall that surrounded the classrooms.
“Welcome, all of you, back to White Deer Grotto Academy”
As she turned around the corner of the wall, tears sprang to her eyes as she finally saw the famed Meeting Hall, guarded by two tall conifers. How long she had dreamed of this place. She hurried up the steps and stopped to admire the two thick black columns that held up the roof--- its surface shimmering with gold characters.
“Of those of you are staying here for the spring, please unpack into your assigned dormitories.”
She poked her head through the doorway to catch a look at the speaker, her body twisted backwards in the effort.
Someone shoved into her---the force sending her stumbling back, her back colliding painfully with the doorsill. She gasped aloud, her eyes watering and then clamped her hand over her mouth--- she was afraid that it had sounded too feminine.
Holding her breath, she looked up
at her offender--- a burly tall nobleman dressed in fine silk robes. His face
curled into a sneer, he nodded his head at her.
“Watch
it peasant,”
Eyes widened she stared, dumbfounded into silence.
“I said, get out of my way!”
Swallowing hard, she nodded nervously and scrambled out of the way, accidently treading on his robe.
Snarling, he aimed a vicious kick in her direction, narrowly missing her and strode past into the gloom of the hall. Her cheeks flaming red, she clutched at a window ledge and propped herself up, looking around. No one seemed to have noticed or particularly cared. Most of the students had already assembled inside. She cursed—she had already made an enemy on her first day.
Taking care to step over the doorsill this time, she hastened to join the others at the back of the hall. The scholars nearby turned to glance at her curiously, and then soon turned back to the front. One of them whispered softly, “Don’t worry about Ming; he’s always like that to the new students.”
Lan Yi nodded, grateful that at least some of the students weren’t so uninviting.
“We do not expect all of the students here to continue their studies but we do encourage you to try the ‘shi’ that takes place in the summer.”
Master Jin smiled encouragingly at his students.
“That is all I have to say today. You may go to your classes.”
The scholars all bowed their heads in respect as the master left the stage.
As he strode past, she caught a glimpse of his face. Gray-haired and thin gray eyebrows, he stared right at her. She shivered involuntarily, and quickly turned her face down. Rich black silk swept over the honey-coloured floorboards and Lan Yi looked up to see the retreating figure of the master as he turned into another corridor.
*** *** ***
Tucking a scroll and her set of brushes under her arm, Lan Yi merged into the trickling stream of scholars heading towards the classrooms.
The classrooms were adjoined together in a cool, shady building; its rooftops curved upward at each corner. Lan Yi loved the doorways made of interlocking carvings that melded together perfectly. As she took a seat, she looked around at the tables and chairs, all laid out in rows.
To her dismay, the burly boy who had kicked at her was seated behind. His eyes narrowed as they fell upon her.
She quickly looked away and saw that all the students had risen to their feet. Hastily, she scrambled out of her chair and joined the others. The master swept in and onto the raised platform in the far end of the room. He bowed to his students, his purple robe billowing.
“Welcome to the class of calligraphy. We have a new student with us today. This is Li Wen Bo.” He said, pointing at Lan Yi. Lan Yi smiled and dipped her head as everyone turned to stare at her.
“I expect that you have all learnt the art of writing. Today, I would like you to copy out this poem onto your scrolls.”
There was a rustle of fabric as everyone sat down.
Lan Yi prepared her ink carefully and eagerly began, drawing her brush in graceful sweeps, like water flowing over a smooth rock.
The rhythm of the stroke pulsed inside of her as she filled her scroll with elegant black hanzi. A hum of tranquility surrounded her and she finally felt at home.
She tilted her head towards the burly boy as he made his way towards the front, his scroll in one hand. He shouldered her roughly and then without a pause, he jerked his elbow into her arm. Lan Yi gasped and stared at her work in horror. A long slash of ink mutilated her scroll of perfect characters. The ugly gash on her work meant that she would have to start all over again.
Lan Yi watched the receding back of the boy as he continued walking. The white of her knuckles stood out tightly on her fist as she clenched the table.
She was about to stand up when in the corner of her eye, she spied a boy staring at her sympathetically and looking outraged. He was about to raise his hand when she shook her head slightly. He stopped, confused. Lan Yi took the chance to stick her hand straight up into the air. The master looked up from his scroll.
“Yes?”
“Sorry sir, but I accidently slipped and ruined my scroll. Is it possible that I could have another one?”
Sighing, he replied, “Very well, come up then.”
Turning around, she smiled ruefully at the kind-hearted boy and retrieved a new scroll. She didn’t want him to be troubled by the burly, malicious boy who would have been sure to give him a hard time for helping her.
She looked down at her empty scroll and grimaced.
It was going to be a long lesson.
*** *** ***
Later on, Lan Yi found out that the burly boy was called Lu Ming and the kind-hearted boy was called Zhou Tang. Apparently, they were both wealthy and powerful.
As Lan Yi was making her way out of the academy, she passed by Zhou Tang. He was standing there by a willow tree watching ripples in the pond. As she walked pass, his head whipped around and he immediately came to attention.
“Wait!”
Lan Yi stopped and turned around, curious.
He yanked his robe into place and swished towards her.
“Hi, I’m Zhou Tang.”
Lan Yi smiled back and nodded.
He straightened up and Lan Yi realised that he was actually quite tall.
She bit her lip and brushed away a strand of loose hair, hoping that it didn’t look too feminine.
“About today… why didn’t you tell anyone about Ming?”
“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, that’s all.”
“You really are such a nice, caring person.” he commented admiringly. “Don’t worry about it. If you get into any problems, I’ll be happy to help.”
“Thank you!” Lan Yi replied, glad that she had someone to protect her.
Today had started badly with her creating a possible enemy but she had also found a new friend.
*** *** ***
Days began to blur into weeks. Strangely enough, being a man became almost like putting on a mask. She was becoming so used to it that she was starting to worry about whether she was going to be able to act as a lady back at home.
Tang quickly decided that he was going to help her out. He was companionable and his wit tickled her. Lan Yi discovered that he also had a formidable skill of poetry and literature and they were always competing for 1st place in class. Tang had also taken to calling her ‘Little Brother’ but surprisingly, Lan Yi didn’t mind.
Unfortunately, Ming had also taken a heavy dislike to her and loathed her beautiful poems and seemingly perfect charm. He had taken up the duty of harassing her and constantly picked on her small and therefore more vulnerable size. Luckily he didn’t dare go near her when Tang was around.
One afternoon, something changed. In a way, it had already been slowly changing but that day, things clicked into place.
The day had started off well enough, and Lan Yi was in a good mood, humming softly to herself as she made her way to the library to retrieve a book.
“Hey little baby!” a familiar voice called out.
She pursed her lips and ignored it, continuing to walk with her eyes on the ground.
The steps came closer and fear seized her.
Lan Yi whirled around to glare at several men that were advancing onto her. One of them was Ming, his face twisted into a sadistic smile.
She backed away slowly and her back jolted as she slammed into a wall unexpectedly
Ming laughed; a nasty nasal sound that made Lan Yi tremble uncontrollably.
He leant forward and Lan Yi flinched.
“Puny! Girly!”
He looked her right in the eye. She froze, sure that he had found out her secret. Spit hung on her face but she resisted the urge to scrub it off.
“Maybe he would have been better off as a girl. Ptt.”
She breathed a sigh of relief.
He turned. And then stopped abruptly.
He had collided right into Tang.
“Leave him alone won’t you?”
Ming snorted disbelievingly.
“Oh, now, what do you care? Is the good boy going to be beeest friends with the midget huh?”
“He’s my friend.” Tang replied coldly and he strode in and took Lan Yi’s arm, dragging her out of the circle that had formed around her. Ming glared at him furiously; fist clenched tight, but made no move. He didn’t want to risk involving Tang as his father was an extremely important and powerful official who would most certainly avenge his son if anything happened.
They walked in silence for a while then Tang murmured softly, “Are you okay little brother?”
Lan Yi nodded numbly, her heart still thudding furiously.
As they neared the library, he stopped abruptly and pulled her to a halt as well. She started, quivering.
He laughed softly.
“You’re so delicate you know. It’s no wonder that they choose to pick on you.”
“Not that they should have anyway.” His tone turned serious and his gaze was intense.
Pools of light swam in his deep black eyes and Lan Yi felt herself drawn towards them.
“Don’t let those idiots get to you. Take care, little brother.”
He patted her shoulder gently and walked off, leaving her dizzy.
I shouldn’t be feeling like this. This isn’t right.
Lan Yi could feel butterflies in her stomach and her throat was dry in a most peculiar way.
She swallowed and wiped her sweaty palms on her tunic, trying to shake off the feeling of chaos and confusion.
*** *** ***
Yuo Si giggled into her palm and sat up.
“So, how’s school?” she asked curiously, looking up at Lan Yi.
“Oh well, Tang is so gentle and caring but he also has such a competitive side to him. I nearly lost to him during class today!” Lan Yi exclaimed.
“Nearly! Why that’s amazing! He must be very good if he nearly beat the famous Lan Yi!” Yuo Si teased.
“Yeah, he’s so good at everything. And he’s good with people too. The way he handles situations is really something to admire.” Lan Yi said musingly.
“Why!” Yuo Si said, “You sound almost like you’ve fallen in love with him!”
“What!” Lan Yi gasped, blushing at the thought. “Of course not!”
“Oh, I just bet you are but you probably don’t realise it.” Yuo Si said wisely.
Lan Yi sniffed, “Nonsense.”
*** *** ***
Longingly, she looked at the cherry blossoms blooming out in the courtyard and wished that she could go outside and be free. But, alas, no for her mother was ever so insistent on her showing lady-like modesty when dining with guests as they themselves were only rich through being merchants.
Usually she did try hard but right now, her mind was on Tang. His face filled her entire mind and his voice murmured things by her ear.
He is a friend. Just a friend.
Lan Yi put her chopsticks down a little too hard and excused herself.
Her mother glanced at her disapprovingly and turned her attention back to one of the ladies.
*** *** ***
A buzz of anxiety and anticipation flowed through her as she entered the academy the next day. She took short little breaths and puffs of condensation blew out in front of her into the frosty air.
An electrifying sensation jolted her as Tang spotted her and smiled. She returned his smile nervously, rubbing the silk of her robes in between her fingers.
“Hi!”
He strode over confidently, his head tilted back slightly so that Lan Yi couldn’t help but admire the sharp angles of his cheekbone and the straight line of his nose.
“Hi,” It was more a whisper than anything and she tried again.
“I…just want to say, thank you, for saving me from the uh… incident yesterday.”
He blinked, surprised and shrugged casually.
“It’s what you do for friends.” he replied lightly.
“Come on, then, let’s go.”
He motioned for her to come and headed off.
Lan Yi stood there, speechless, her eyes clouded over.
“Hey, Wen Bo! Come on!”
She started from her reverie and focused on Tang. She nodded hastily and followed after him.
*** *** ***
Wen Bo… he’s a very interesting person. So talented and with such a vivid imagination too. It’s so rare that there is someone that is so alike me in my interests and personality. I’ve never had a friend whose company I love so much.
*** *** ***
Lan Yi was nervous. Her mother had started to become suspicious about her “embroidery classes” and had even hinted something along the lines of “I’m looking forward to seeing your first embroidery piece. I’m sure it’ll be wonderful.”
She had replied back graciously, “Thank you, mother. I hope it will please you.”
Her voice had been without the slightest quaver, which Lan Yi was proud of.
Her mother had seemed satisfied but only…
How long could she keep up this façade? Surely, her parents would find out sooner or later and everything would fall apart.
Lan Yi shuddered at the anticipation of what her father would have to say. The trembling of her fingers as she changed into her girl’s clothing seemed to compare itself to the trembling of her foundation of lies that would have to eventually crumble.
Tang didn’t seem to have noticed that anything had changed but every time Lan Yi saw him, she felt her heart give an enormous tug and her voice got stuck in her throat.
Normally she hated the idea of being vulnerable to something or in this case, someone. But right now, she felt a giddy sense of adrenaline. It was a feeling of pleasure, being able to help, no, to serve Tang. Not that he would ever ask anything of that sort, but that was one of the reasons why she admired him so much.
She realised that to her, he was much more than an older brother, he was something more. She didn’t know how to describe it; for once, her talent with words had deserted her.
Lan Yi just wished that he felt the same way about her, but she knew it was impossible.
*** *** ***
“Student Li Wen Bo !” a deep male voice called out from behind her.
“Teacher Jin! ” Lan Yi turned and dipped her head to greet her literature professor.
He smiled back genially and stroked his beard energetically, gazing at Lan Yi.
Lan Yi tried not to squirm in the silence that followed until finally; he broke it by saying “You’re writing is astounding, really excellent for such a young scholar. Perhaps you would like to meet me at the hall after class today. I would love to discuss some of those interesting poems of yours.”
He nodded encouragingly, holding his fan in between his thumb and forefingers and twirling it slowly as he waited for her response.
Eyes wide, Lan Yi took a deep breath and grinned back radiantly.
“I would love to! Thank you so much Teacher Jin!”
Her eyes twinkled with excitement and she suppressed herself from jumping up and down in the most undignified way.
The old man chuckled and shuffled back towards the temple, fanning himself leisurely.
He likes them! Oh, this is amazing! I’m actually making my way somewhere!
She rejoiced gleefully and her head was still full of merry thoughts when she walked out of the academy gates and down the trail leading towards Yuo Si’s house.
*** *** ***
As Tang walked along the path leading to the bottom of the mountain, he saw a lady picking herself carefully down the path. She seemed almost familiar and Tang realised that she reminded him strongly of Wen Bo. How strange, he thought, perhaps she is his sister? But then again, he never mentioned any siblings.
He was about to hurry after her when she reached the base of the mountain and turned onto the street, lost in the crowd of people.
His curiosity perked, he made up his mind to follow her the next morning.
The next day dawned bright and cold as Tang spotted the lady again, making her way towards a trail that he knew led to a merchant’s house. He had often seen the merchant’s daughter as she went on visits to the city.
This time, he followed the lady from a safe distance, staying in the shadows of the trees. She even moved like Wen Bo, he thought to himself, though perhaps all women moved like that.
Indeed, they ended up at the merchant’s house and the Wen Bo-like lady slipped in through the back door.
Tang, stood there, concealed in the shadows and waited for a while. His patience was about to run out when at last, someone else came out from the back door. It was Wen Bo, glancing furtively around before half-sprinting onto the trail.
Tang was rooted to the spot. Understanding washed over him. Wen Bo was…a girl! Eyes wide, he forced himself to follow Wen Bo as he meandered up the hill, blissfully unconscious that he had been discovered.
As they were about to enter the school gates, Tang purposely caught up with Wen Bo.
“Wen Bo! Hi!”
Lan Yi started with surprise but relaxed when she realised it was only Tang.
“Good morning Tang!” she said cheerfully.
Tang felt kind of awkward now that he knew and he didn’t know how to act around her.
He fell in beside her, unsure of how to make her fully confess.
He peered at Lan Yi, for the first time, noticing her smooth tender skin and delicate features. It was so obvious now. How could he not have realised all this time?
Lan Yi remained oblivious to his scrutiny and chatted animatedly on about Teacher Jin.
Tang started to treat Wen Bo differently, his gentlemanly instinct taking over.
Lan Yi was a little mystified but also quite content to let him continue being courteous and very protective. In fact, she was delighted that he was paying so much attention to her, even though she would never admit it.
*** *** ***
That night Tang couldn’t sleep. He stood outside his room, watching the leaves of a willow streaming in the wind.
Wen Bo…
*** *** ***
The next day, they trekked up higher into the mountain, writing poems by the mountainside, inspired the scenery. Finally they arrived at the top, Lan Yi puffing a little from the effort. As they stood there, looking down at the vast, maze of green lushness and the long bead of blue that was the river, a gush of sharp fresh wind blew at them and Lan Yi shivered delightedly.
“Look at the world all laid out in front of us, like a tapestry weaved from the threads of nature.”
She flung her arms wide in exultation and sat down a large rock surface.
Tang nodded thoughtfully. “It just shows how even humans are defenceless against its power.”
He leant back and closed his eyes, enjoying the sun. Lan Yi copied too but she sneaked a peek at him from under her eyelids and felt a surge of longing.
She stood up restlessly and walked over to the edge, leaning out. A hand caught her wrist and she stifled a gasp. Tang stood so close to her, she could feel the warmth radiating from him. Keeping his hand around her wrist, he leant over her and whispered, “Do be careful. We couldn’t have you falling off could we?” Lan Yi froze, feeling his breath on her hair.
Slowly, she pulled away from him and whirled around.
“I’m sure you would want to get rid of me!’ she teased lightly.
Tang shrugged comfortably.
“Don’t tempt me Wen Bo,” he returned with a smirk.
The mood lightened considerably and they clambered down the mountain, bantering good-naturedly.
*** *** ***
It was the same, yet it wasn’t.
They shared their laughter, and they grew even tighter as the events of school life bound them together. They had the same kind of humour and they understood each other. Their friendship cloaked them and protected them from the trifles of daily life.
*** *** ***
As well as literature, scholars at the academy also learnt music. A competition had come up for performing a musical piece from an ancient traditional song.
“Hey Tang, what instrument do you play?” Lan Yi asked as they sat together in a temple by the pond.
“The flute,” he replied, “And you?”
“I play the gu-zheng,” Lan Yi said and just for fun she added, “Better than you can play the flute I bet!”
Tang smiled playfully. “Fine then, let’s do a piece together. With your amazing talent, we’ll definitely win.”
“Okay,” Lan Yi agreed, “What song will we play?”
“Hmmm, how about…Jasmine flower?”
Lan Yi smiled, “It’s one of my favourite songs.”
“Oh really? I love that song too. How about it then?”
“Okay, let’s do this!”
*** *** ***
he crowd of scholars murmured to themselves as the pair walked to the front.T
Tang looked over at Lan Yi and she nodded.
He lifted up his flute and began to play.
Sweet music pierced the air, flowing and rippling, singing its song to Lan Yi so clearly that she felt light-headed with the music.
She smiled deeply and started to play the guzheng, her music flowing, blending in with his.
Their eyes met for a moment and Lan Yi was over-brimmed with joy, basking in this perfect moment.
| .jpg) Chinese Bamboo flute |
When the last ringing note faded away, the audience was silent for a while, letting the sound linger. Then they burst into rapid applause. “Amazing!” someone cried out.
“Well,” the judge said, “There’s just no competition. Zhou Tang and Wen Bo have won!”
Laughter bubbled from Lan Yi’s lips and she almost flung herself at Tang. Elatedly hugging, Tang’s face shone in the most glorious way.
*** *** ***
“And just like that, they turned away without realising!” Lan Yi trilled with laughter and Tang joined, his rich voice harmonising with hers.
They were strolling along the street, Lan Yi with her scholar’s robe flapping in the wind.
They had gone out together to purchase some books from the local bookstore that Tang had introduced to Lan Yi.
The air was full of a refreshing breeze that whipped Tang’s hair back and his lazy grin gave her a delicious chill. He looked at her and gave a smile that stopped her heart; she hung in that moment-she was flying.
She felt like she could just go on like that but, sadly, they had to split at a crossroad, each going to a different shop.
Tang turned to look at her.
“We’ll meet back here okay? You shouldn’t get lost; it’s hardly a big distance.”
He rolled his eyes and smiled wryly.
Lan Yi nodded her agreement, “Okay, see you here in a bit.”
It was a pleasant walk to the bookstore, and she wandered along, looking out for a bright red sign. Unfortunately, there were a lot of bright red signs so Lan Yi had to keep on pausing to scan the signs to make sure she hadn’t passed the store.
The rise and fall of friendly banter rose from the stands around her, warming her heart. She hadn’t been allowed to go out often when she was a girl so she relished these opportunities. Lan Yi pondered about the obvious advantages that men had over women. Why though? Why should it be?
As she stooped down to inspect some jade charms that were laid out on a stall table, Lan Yi heard a stern, barking voice call out and all of a sudden there was a loud crash behind her and the yells of men tussling. Alarm flashed through her and she spun around, in time to watch a wooden stool collapse under the weight of a rough-looking man dressed in rags, scraggly strands of hair covering half his face. He scrambled up quickly but he was already surrounded by watch-guards.
A man clad in a fine pale yellow tunic stepped out from the crowd, his back to Lan Yi. “This man,” he began, pointing down at the filthy thief, “attempted to steal my pouch as I was paying for my meal. He deserves to be paddled and taken to jail.” He glared angrily at the man, whose face was blank with terror, shaking and white.
A watch-guard nodded. “It will be taken care of sir. Rest assured.”
He gestured with a jerk of his head and the man was hauled away, crying out as he went.
“I was only doing it for my family! My wife, oh my children will starve!”
A half-strangled sob reached her ears as the crowd parted to make way for the thief as he was led away.
Lan Yi struggled her way past curious on-lookers to get a better view and almost tripped on a silken pouch, lying slightly tattered on the dusty road.
Realizing that it was probably the pouch that the thief had attempted to steal, she picked it up gingerly and walked up to the man who was busily engaged in conversation with another thick bearded man.
As she neared him, a queer feeling of familiarity washed over her. She gave him an once-over, noting his neatly bundled hair complete with an elegant ivory hairpiece to his black cloth shoes.
She cleared her throat hesitantly. There was no response.
“Excuse me sir, I believe that this is your pouch?” she asked politely.
He finally turned around to face her.
Lan Yi’s stomach dropped as she realised with alarm that the man was in fact, her father.
He frowned, puzzled, his eyebrows knitting together.
“Have I seen you before?”
With lightning speed, Lan Yi dropped the pouch and sprinted off but her father lunged and grabbed her arm twisting it painfully as she lurched out.
He hauled her towards him and his eyes bored into hers.
They flashed with disbelief.
“Lan Yi? It can’t be!”
*** *** ***
“It can’t be!” Tang exclaimed, tossing his head with frustration.
He turned his head from side to side as he surveyed the mass of people thronging the street and sighed when he caught no sign of Lan Yi.
“Where is she?”
“She didn’t get herself into any trouble did she?” he muttered to himself, worry taking over.
He hurried down the street and turned into the street where the bookstore was. One glance told him that it was empty and the shop assistant reported that he had hadn’t seen anyone of his description enter the shop that day.
His forehead creased with anxiety, he left for home after searching the streets for over half an hour.
“Where is she? Wherever she is, I hope she’s okay. And if she’s just plain forgotten about meeting up and just went home, she’ll wish she never lived when I see her tomorrow.” he said grimly, shaking his head.
*** *** ***
She’s not here today. Why?
Her empty seat seemed to call out to him through his lessons and eventually he gave up concentrating, spending his time staring at the spot where she should have been. His longing surprised him. He hadn’t realised that he cared about her so much. Her absence made a gigantic hole in his day and he found that he missed her infectious laughter and the way she looked up at him mischievously through her lashes and ran off gracefully.
Was he… falling in love with her?
I need you Lan Yi! Why aren’t you here? Why?
*** *** ***
The silence was oddly comforting. It was better than what was about to happen. The bomb was about to go off.
“You did what?” he asked in a steely voice.
Lan Yi sat, her head bowed and hands clasped tight.
“I’m sorry father.”
“You are an absolute disgrace to the family. You have no respect for the law or for your elders with your impudent attitude. How dare you risk the family reputation to pursue such dishonourable things? As well as dragging your friend into this! It is unacceptable!” he thundered, pacing up and down the room lividly.
Lan Yi’s heart gave a constricting squeeze as she imagined Xiao Hong being berated and punished.
Her mother hovered anxiously by the doorway.
“I really am sorry father, I just…” she looked up at his furious expression and faltered.
“Please don’t hurt Xiao Hong. It was my idea really. I know I shouldn’t have and I, I promise never to do it again.” She bit her lip helplessly and held back tears; thinking about everything that had been laid out so perfectly but snatched away so brutally.
Her father gave a deep sigh and closed his eyes as if exhausted.
He shook his head sadly. “I never thought that my daughter would do this. You were just so obedient, humble and charming that I, oh, I never imagined that this, this monstrosity could happen.”
Lan Yi’s mother came in, distressed and torn.
“How could you do that? Upsetting your poor father and me and spending all that time with men! How on earth are we going arrange a successful marriage for you if anyone finds out that you were ruining your modesty like that?” she demanded tearfully.
Lan Yi just shook her head and didn’t reply.
“Lan Yi,” her father began severely, “due to your misbehaviour, you are not to leave the house no matter what. Do you understand me?”
Lan Yi nodded weakly and stood up, treading slowly to her living quarters, her shoulders slumped.
She felt hollowed, like her spirit had decided to abandon her, leaving her utterly alone.
*** *** ***
I guess I should wait for tomorrow since she’s probably just been for the past few days but I really need to talk to her. I miss her so much.
Tang laughed quietly to himself as he thought about his two servants that he had left behind, completely clueless of his whereabouts. He was sorry that they may be told off if it was discovered that he had given them the slips but since this was unlikely, he quickly dismissed it.
That was the problem of being rich and having servants surrounding you and doing everything for you. That was actually one of the reasons why Tang loved going to the academy so much because there, he was free.
He walked along the road, admiring the magnolia flowers that were in full bloom, their petals singing. The creamy to deep violet colours blended so perfectly that Tang couldn’t resist the urge to reach up and pick one, tucking it into his pocket for later.
He waited patiently outside Yuo Si’s house. At last he saw her coming out with her maid trailing behind. He approached her, speaking quietly, “Excuse me, my name is Tang. Are you Wen Bo’s friend?”
Yuo Si paused, looking him up and down and nodded hesitantly. “So you’re Tang? I’m guessing you’ve come about Lan Yi, I mean Wen Bo then.”
Tang nodded eagerly and Yuo Si drew him aside.
She looked at him, wondering how much to tell him.
“All right,” she said at last, “Wen Bo isn’t actually called Wen Bo, she’s called Lan Yi. And she’s a girl.”
She paused, waiting for his reaction but when Tang nodded calmly, she blinked in surprise.
“I already know that. I followed her when she came to your house to change. That’s why I’ve come to you today. She hasn’t been coming to school for a while now and I really want to know what’s happened.” Tang explained.
Yuo Si nodded slowly, “Lan Yi has been caught by her parents. She had been lying to them all along because obviously they wouldn’t have let her go otherwise. Now they’ve refused to let her come out and so she’s stuck in there.” she told him forlornly.
Tangs eyes’ darkened with anger.
“Well then, are you allowed to have contact with her?” he asked hopefully. Yuo Si nodded.
Thinking quickly, Tang slipped out a fan from under his cloak. Its ebony handle was intricately carved.
“Please, is there a brush and some ink I could use?” he asked.
Yuo Si nodded towards her maid who quickly ran back to the house and came quick moments later with equipment in her hand.
Tang nodded his thanks and taking the brush, he dipped it in the ink-pallet which the maid was holding and began to write upon the fabric of the fan. He finished with a flourish and handed it to Yuo Si.
Imploringly, he asked her, “Could you please give this to Lan Yi?”
“Of course,” Yuo Si replied sympathetically, “Don’t worry, she’ll be okay.”
*** *** ***
Scared and tired, nevertheless, Xiao Hong tried valiantly to give Lan YI encouragement. She hated to see her mistress pining away, defenceless and hopeless.
So, when she spotted Yuo Si waiting for her, her heart leapt at the thought that help was on the way. Yuo Si passed by and whispered by her ear, “Tell her Tang asked about her. Give this to her.”
Xiao Hong felt a thin object slide into her hands and she grasped it tightly, nodding once then watching Yuo Si walk off.
“Your evening meal, mistress,” Xiao Hong said, entering Lan Yi’s room with a tray laden with food. She set it down on the round table and bowed.
Lan Yi was about to ask her about what was going on outside her confinement when Xiao Hong quickly said, “I trust you had a pleasant evening?”
Lan Yi shut her mouth and nodded. Someone must be still listening at the door.
“Indeed.”
Xiao Hong visibly relaxed and it seemed to Lan Yi as if the shadow standing at the door had disappeared.
“Mistress, I have some exciting news! Your friend Tang has asked Yuo Si about you and he also sent you this.”
With that, she produced the fan from out of her inner pocket.
“Here.”
Lan Yi anxiously opened the fan and stared at the characters written on it. By the time she had finished reading it, the characters were blurred, her eyes misty.
Clutching it tightly with one hand, she read it over…and over…and over…late into the night.
I am counting the stars and
When the stars run out
When the mountain is without peaks
When the sea is without water
Then, and only then, will I stop loving you.
*** *** ***
The blazing flame of love,
Golden and full of warmth
Shines on me as I wait for you.
Through hardships
Through triumphs
Through tears
Through laughter
Let’s do it together.
Tang stroked the handkerchief and traced the outline of the two mandarin birds. She loves me, she really does!
Mandarin ducks, he thought, every couple is inseparable.
I have to do something.
 | .jpg) Mandarin ducks symbolise love |
The next day…
“Yuo Si, I really need your help, I need to know the way to Lan Yi’s house.”
*** *** ***
Tang got to Lan Yi’s house quite fast, considering that he had ever been there. He realised that he was nervous when he flexed his clammy hands, pausing to knock. Chuckling nervously to himself that he would actually be scared of such a thing, he waited there, taking slow deep breaths to calm himself down.
The giant red door swung open with a creak and an old man peered out.
“Who is it?”
“My name is Zhou Tang, son of General Zhou. I would like to speak to your master.”
“Son of General Zhou?” the servant asked reverently.
Tang nodded and the servant immediately invited him in, leading him past bamboo forests and a beautiful pond with lilies floating serenely around the edges.
They crossed the corridor silently and stopped.
“Master, a Zhou Tang, son of General Zhou has come. Would you like to see him in?” he called through the bamboo paper screen.
“Bring him in.”
He opened the doors and gestured for Tang to go inside. Tang stepped in and the doors closed behind him.
Solemn with a long black beard speckled with white strands and thin intelligent eyes, he sat on the right chair as was the custom for the host.
Tang saluted him with his right palm over his left fist and Lan Yi’s father returned it.
“Greetings, please have a seat.” He said, pointing to the seat beside him.
Tang bowed his head in thanks and sat down.
“What is it that you have come to my household about?” he asked.
“Greetings sir, my name is Zhou Tang. I have been Lan Yi’s classmate at the White Deer Grotto Academy. Is it possible that I can see your daughter at least this once?”
Lan Yi’s father narrowed his eyes and shook his head.
“I know that you are General Zhou’s son but I also know that you are already engaged to the daughter of Scholar Teng. That is a wide-spread knowledge. You cannot possibly make a good match; our social status has too far a gap. Also, Lan Yi is already engaged to another man. I will not let you see my daughter because I know that you will just cause her distress when you are separated. So, I’m afraid that I cannot permit it.” he said grimly.
“Please, just let me see her at least this once,” Tang pleaded.
“No, that is my final answer.” Lan Yi’s father said firmly.
“Then I shall not give up. I shall persuade my father to discontinue my engagement and I shall send a matchmaker to ask for your daughter’s hand.” Tang declared quietly.
He rose and saluted again, walking out into courtyard.
He smiled briefly at Xiao Hong who had been standing outside, listening and trekked home, prepared to battle his father.
*** *** ***
“Who was it?” she whispered in the darkness
“It was Tang, mistress. He came to ask for your hand in marriage.”
“What happened?” the voice tensed
“Your father turned him away. He said that you were already engaged and so was he.”
Lan Yi’s throat tightened
“But I also heard the last bit. He said that he wouldn’t give up.”
She let out a shaky sigh and prepared to wait.
*** *** ***
“Father, I have some extremely important matters to discuss with you. Is it possible to take some of your time?” Tang asked graciously.
“Of course my son,” his father replied in his mellow smooth voice.
He sat down on a chair and faced Tang. His shadow loomed over him, enlarged by the lantern light. Tang had inherited his large stature from his father, who was a formidable opponent in battle and used his great size to his advantage. Not only that, his mind was also sharp and quick. These attributes led him to become a powerful general.
“Father, I know I am engaged to Scholar Teng’s daughter but I have met another lady. I have sincerely fallen in love with her and I beg of you that you consent our marriage and release me from my engagement.” Tang said passionately.
His father replied, “That is impossible. You must marry Scholar Teng’s daughter. This is essential to your future and ambition.” He looked at his son as if forcing him to understand.
But Tang replied, “Father, I cannot have any sort of future without her.”
General Zhou shook his head. “Your love is merely an unsubstantial thing, just a flash of insignificance in your life. When you are older, you will understand and you will thank me.”
“But father---“
“Enough, you shall marry Scholar Teng’s daughter and that is it.” He said it with a sickening air of finality.
“By the beginning of next month, you shall be married to her.”
*** *** ***
The news of Tang’s marriage had spread so quickly that Xiao Hong brought back the dreaded news only the day after it had been announced.
Lan Yi knew that she would never be able to be with Tang but she still found it excruciatingly painful to accept the bitter truth.
She spent most of her time lamenting in anguish by the willow tree, watching the golden koi fish dart around in the pond. It’s alright little ones, she thought, I’m just like you. I’m captive too.
.jpg)
*** *** ***
Tang woke up, groggy and confused. Then he remembered and immediately wished he hadn’t. Tomorrow was the day of the marriage.
He couldn’t even see properly these days because the thought of Lan Yi was a veil upon his eyes. Everything else was dim in comparison. He felt everything was squeezing him tightly and he desperately needed to breath.
He headed out to nowhere in particular, just wandering around the town and following random paths, letting his consciousness guide him.
He found himself on the street to Lan Yi’s house and before he could stop himself he was already there.
He stood there for a moment, imagining her confined inside the high walls. He thought back to all of the happy memories with her and he took out his flute, weighed it for a moment and put it to his lips.
The melody rang out through the air, crisp and sharp to Lan Yi’s ears. She froze, unable to believe her ears, memories flooding in. Then she sprang into action, softly calling to Xiao Hong.
“Quick! Get me a kite!”
Brush flowed swiftly over the thin paper of the kite and Lan Yi uttered a prayer.
Please, don’t leave yet! I need you.
Wind caught the fragile frame of the kite and it lifted it high into the air, fluttering and swaying.
A bright red shape floated up from Lan Yi’s house almost as if Tang had been charming it as snake-charmers charmed their snakes.
Tang halted as he realised what the object was. A kite? Why a –oh! He leapt up and ran towards it as it gradually began its descent.
He crossed the distance in leaps and bounds and knelt down to retrieve the kite, lying on the road.
He turned it over and on it were the bright fresh characters of her last message.
If it is possible
I wish to become this kite
So that I can fly over to be by your side
I wish I could see you one last time
But if I did I wouldn’t know what to do
When you say that last goodbye
So instead I’ll just say, I already miss you
May be I can’t be here right now
But in spirit, I’m always with you…
*** *** ***
Eight hundred and sixty years later…
2008, Beijing National Stadium
“Hurry up Mum! Come on Dad! We’re going to be late for the opening of the Olympics!” she called, tugging impatiently on her mum’s arm.
She gazed around, starry-eyed at the milling mass of people and the grand lights and red banners waving proudly.
Giving up on her parents, she rushed forward but in her haste collided with someone.
A teenager boy around her age slammed into her, sending her phone skidding onto the floor.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” she apologised and ran on.
“Uh, wait—“ he called after her but she had already been swallowed into the crowd.
He was about to bend down to pick up her phone, when it lit up, signifying that someone was calling.
‘Jasmine Flower’ sang loudly from the phone-speakers.
